Oxymoron of Sorts

It's odd, really. Anyone who's read much of my blog, or friends who understand in even more detail just what my life presently entails, knows I am faced with tremendous, often overwhelming daily challenges. Whoopdee-doo. But what has been bending my mind lately--in a good way--is that despite the difficulties, I've been experiencing brief, profound moments of peace, and seriously positive emotional highs. It seems out of place. The situation I'm in, the responsibility I have taking care of my mom and dad do not leave much time or energy for enjoying life, or laughing hysterically about something, or on some days even sitting down and having any peace of mind at all. Yet, in between tasks, stresses, etc., for the past 3 or 4 months I've been increasingly having inexplicable bursts of euphoria. The closest thing I can relate it to is like being a kid again, and knowing I'm getting a shiny new bike for my birthday, the anticipation is driving me nuts, expecting something so fun and good is on the way. But I am not currently expecting anything out of the ordinary. It's strange because I've never had feelings like this come up while I'm in the midst of the kind of turmoil I've been through lately. I don't want to question it, but it makes me extremely curious; where is it coming from? and could there be a way to make those moments last longer?

I know part of it is that I have made a ginormous effort in the past year+, as things with my parents have gotten harder, to really look for the good, funny, happy in every possible place. I've sort of had to because otherwise I'd be really, really depressed! Studies at Animation Mentor have furthered my pursiut of the good in things because we are taught to actively engage and observe life, and that in every moment we might find some kind of artistic inspiration. A side effect of this kind of attention to the detail of life seems to be increased appreciation of the stuff as well. Ask any of my AM classmates, or any animator for that matter, and they will tell you they find amazing, cool, funny, mind-blowing ideas and inspiration just about anywhere at any time. You begin paying attention to things in the way we are taught as animators and you end up taking great pleasure in stuff that before seemed unimportant or uninteresting. I find myself geeking out about some stuff now that would have never even caught my attention before. All this is good, but it doesn't by itself explain what's going on.

The past week has been very stressful for my family and me. I had to take my mom to ER Sunday and she stayed in the hospital until Wednesday. Luckily she seems to be improving as of today. Stressful, scary, depressing stuff has been going on. Yet, there I was a coupla nights ago, digitizing sound bytes for our next animation assignment and laughing my ass off at some of the dialog I found! On one hand I've got some depressing things going on and on the other I'm laughing myself silly! It's like I'm a real life oxymoron! Kind of an odd place to be, but I'm enjoying it and it sure beats just being depressed about stuff.

Last week my Animation Mentor mentor, Bill Diaz, asked me to get Bishop's feet moving more broadly during the small shuffly "walk" that have in my animation shot. In my mind, and in my reference I shot of myself acting it out, it's supposed to be just a kind of foot and body repositioning...not very big at all. I think Bill is seeing something different, which mostly just means I haven't properly conveyed my idea through the animation as it exists. The mentor is our "director" for these assignments, and just like if this were a real job I gotta just make it happen the way he says or else! Well, unless I can pitch an even better idea. I was having trouble understanding what he wanted at first, and an unfortunately timed sound glitch on my computer kept me from fully discussing it with Bill in last Tuesday's Q&A. But I think the tweaks I've made are on the right track and should be fine by the time I turn it in.

Since this is the final week of this assignment, I've also been experimenting with lighting and rendering my shot. I do know a thing or two about lighting, and though I'm certainly no genius it sure does look a lot nicer rendered than straight out of playblast!

Let's Put In Twirly Arms

I've got a lot to do for this week's animation assignment before the Sunday deadline. I should be doing my first refining pass now, but I'm reblocking some areas based on my last mentor eCritique. Bill made some more suggestions last time, plus I totally spaced on Bishop's weight and balance; he takes two small steps and was way off balance! Ridiculous.

So earlier this week I switched all the keys back to stepped mode and started tweaking. At first it was not going too smooth but Thursday I was able to put in close to 7 hours and made good progress. Of course, while I was working some new ideas came to me. I decided to try to do some "twirly arms" stuff going into the pose for "suposubly". That meant I had to shoot some more reference. Above you can see 4 frames from the best take, with red arrows indicating motion direction. I also made a new set of planning sketches. Later I decided to have the screen-right arm spin the opposite way from my reference. I think that will look more fun. My concern is that I have a total of four ideas for two spots in the shot, and I can't get my mentor's feedback on either before the assignment is due. I guess I just have to use my own judgment and it will just be a surprise to Bill when he does the critique. I'll email him a headsup and maybe he'll have time to advise me before Sunday.

Life outside of AM has been pretty crazy this week. I'm not sure what to do about my mom...none of the current options are pleasant. Just gotta do whatever I can to make things better for her and my dad. And try to stay positive and keep myself healthy and sane. And finish AM homework. Ha!

Lemons, Lemonade and Acting

Sunday many AnimationMentees from Northern California met up for yet another AM BBQ. It was our fifth AM gathering and 2nd hosted by classmate Brian Nicolucci and his family. Thanks again Brian, Sue and Dakota! The bummer of some old friends not being able to make it was made up for by a number of new faces being there, including some brand new Level A students, and at least a couple who are considering enrollment. AnimationMentor Doug Dooley made it out as well. I remembered Doug from an enjoyable Saturday makeup Q&A I'd been in (it was Doug's first Q&A and he was great!), and it was sooper cool to meet another of our mentors in person! It was another time of great fun for all.

I almost wasn't able to go at the last minute. My mom's health has not been good, and Sunday morning seemed off to a bad start, but luckily she was okay and well enough to take care of herself while I was gone.

Today I wasn't so lucky; it was a rather stressful day. Aside from my mom needing continuous help, I had an extra 40-minute wait at the pharmacy for some meds that were supposed to be ready Sunday (Thanks again, MediCal! You complicate my life!). Later, the tube in my 22-inch Viewsonic monitor went out, accompanied by a serious burning wires scent. Yikes! But the good news is the 3-year warranty is still good--for 2 more weeks! Talk about close-calls. So it's going back to Viewsonic for repair or replacement. You know what they say when life gives you lemons: Call and get an RMA#! :)

I got last week's rough blocking assignment done slightly early, partly due to a serious multi-hour Maya session that ended at 6am Friday. It was fun, I just couldn't stop animating! That made it possible for me to meet Brian and his clan to see SERENITY Friday night totally guilt free! It was my second time seeing it but their first, and knowing every one of the Nicolucci fam is a mad Browncoat, it was awesome seeing it with them! Shiny! For anyone considering seeing Serenity who isn't already a Browncoat or fan of the TV series firefly, I recommend renting the DVDs before seeing the movie because it will make it even better, trust me.

Earlier tonight I got my eCritique from my mentor, who gave me some great suggestions and ideas to improve the blocking for this week. I've really been having a good time with this assignment, trying to get comfortable with the idea of acting out a line in front of a camera for reference. It's a lot easier if you're not being filmed and there's no audience.